Patience, Rest, and His Timing

Starting back on Sept 6th; I started to feel contractions.  They were not too painful, but were uncomfortable and I could feel the baby dropping and adding pressure to me.  Breathing, relaxing, and teaching through them that day required a bit of work, BUT I did it.  Most of my colleagues at work who knew what I was going through were confident that the baby was coming that weekend.  The contractions progressed and increased in sharpness and timing.  On Sunday I started timing the contractions and they were about 5 minutes apart...so we went into labor and delivery.

We were monitored, checked, and told that there would be no baby today; BUT they did confidently tell me that I would probably not make it to October.  They put me off work for two days which was so difficult to relax on the couch and not work.  Scott was great and stayed home with me for both days.  The doctor predicted that I would have my baby within a few days of my first baby shower on Sept 19th or 20th.  The contractions have not really stopped since Thursday when they began. 

I had a doctor's appointment on Sept 19th.  I went in thinking that the doctor would tell me that I was progressing more and that the baby would be ready to come out...BUT...NOPE!!! When I was checked in at the doctor's my blood pressure was really high and was not coming down despite my attempts to relax.  I proceeded with my appointment and the doctor was extremely concerned about how swollen my feet and legs were.  She told me that in the interest of my health and the babies health that I would need to go to labor and delivery for further monitoring of the baby and I to make sure that I did not have toxemia or preclampsyia. 

Before I went to be monitored she told me that I was going to need to stop working.  She told me that my swelling and blood pressure were high because of the amount of movement that I do in my regular school day.  She asked me if I sat down for most of my day...I honestly had to tell her that I would not teach from my desk everyday.  So I was going to need to stop working right away.

While I was monitored the nurse told me that the contractions that I am feeling regularly are because I am dehydrated.  I was confused on how I could be dehydrated...I drank 80 ounces of water a day and a gatorade at minimum in the day.  Maybe it was the amount of sweat that I did daily that was making me dehydrated.

I stressfully went back to my classroom to set up for my Thursday and Friday sub days.  My first choice long term sub was waiting on a final clearance to happen.  I wanted to cry because this was not the way that I wanted to leave my classroom.  I wanted to leave the students because I was going to have the baby, NOT to be put on BED REST.  I am officially on bed rest from my doctor because she wants my swelling to go down and for my blood pressure to get regulated.  I go back to the doctor's on Tuesday and I am hoping that she will let me be able to do some stuff at home within reason so that I am not just able to walk to the restroom and kitchen. 

What I have learned in this pregnancy
...patience...I have been told that patience is a virtue.  I regularly practice patience with my students, but do not actually practice patience in my life.  I am an impatient person when it comes to things that I cannot control in my life.  I am going to be refined in this virtue over the next few weeks.

....rest...Over the summer I recommitted to taking a sabbath each Sunday resting and not doing any work.  Most of the summer I took naps on the days that I was able to and did not feel bad about it.  I am now being forced to rest and I am learning that I need to find peace in bed rest.  

...timing...I have absolutely no control on the timing that everything has taken place.  Scott and I did not plan out this pregnancy and were wonderfully surprised to find out that I was pregnant.  I also learning that our wonderful surprise will make their appearance in their own timing too.  There will be nothing that I can do to speed up or slow down this timing.  I know who is in control of my life, but I might not be submitting to HIS timing. 

Having patience in God's timing will help me to rest during this time that I wait for our baby.  

How are you and the Baby Mrs. Rollins?

Last year I took on the challenge of teaching an intervention class for the lowest 30 freshman in the entire school at Arlington.  I had them for a class period of Algebra and an intervention class period also, back to back.  This class I volunteered for and knew that at times would be challenging to teach, BUT this was exactly the class that was needed to transition out our Pre-Algebra class.

Fast forward my block kids at the end of the year know that I am pregnant and were definitely involved in the rumor has it wondering about me being pregnant.  By the end of the school year 12 out of the 30's math skills were raised to grade level and they passed Algebra 1, ready for Geometry the next year.

Now to the awesome blessing that these students have been to me in the last 5 days.  1st period begins and one of my successful students enrolled in Geometry and will have me again for another year of math :) This student named A, asks how my summer is, how I am feeling, and how the baby is AND not only knows the math but confidently is helping his peers remember the math too.  Later during 2nd a student comes by and waves high on their way to their next class.  Then 3rd period I have 3 students again who were successful who are also confidently helping their peers with the math, who ask how the baby is and such.  Then two girls came in my room at lunch to check on me, the baby and see if the doctor slipped and told me the gender yet.  Then told me that they told their teacher that they were the reason why they did not pass Algebra 1 last year and that they were going to be successful this year.  Then after school one of the students to extract more patience out of me than I knew I had comes by to ask how I am, if the baby is doing good, and if the freshman are being good to me (otherwise he would rough them up...LOL).  I would never tell him yes, but I said that I was doing good and for him to have a good day.  Day 1 major blessing knowing that at least these 7 students I had touched in some way over the course of our 2 hours we spent together everyday.  The next day another unsuccessful student came by to check up on me, see how the baby was doing and ask if the baby was still growing nice and big.  He told me about his success with police explorers over the summer and then headed off to class.  Again my student came in after school to check on me, how I was feeling, and if the baby was good that day.  I told him yes, he told me he was not going to ditch any of his classes this year (he was a frequent ditcher last year and was regularly MIA).  Then came Wednesday which was an off day, but one that included being checked on by some block kids again during the day.  Thursday I am visited by a new block student...baby and me checked on and wondering if the doctor slipped or not to tell me the gender.  They tell me how their summer was and how their mom and them cant wait for me to have the baby so they can by me an outfit.  Then I am off to the lunch football rally and one of my students who worked hard comes over and greets me with the BIGGEST smile I have ever seen on his face, gives me a side hug, and asks if I am going to the football game that night.  I tell him yes...he proudly says that he is starting and number 40 (so for me to look out for him).  He tells me that his math class is EASY so far :) :)  My after school visitor comes back to see how the baby is again and now this makes it 3 out of 4 days, and he asks to get to come back in my room and if I miss my favorite student?  I smile and tell him to have a good after noon and he tells me the same and not to work too hard.  Now to Friday I have another student who comes in and gives me a hug, BIG smile and asks how the baby is doing. 

As most people in education know an intervention course normally means more patience out of the teacher and more behavior problems.  Their were many more spent in prayer over those seats for the students who needed more grace and peace each day.  Over the summer Scott asked me if I would ever teach a block class again?  Honestly after the school year I was really leaning towards NO because I felt as though I did not really help any of them grow or mature.  However after this week I know in the lives of at over half of that class that I DID MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE in their lives.  I made this difference and could tell by them going out of their way each day to check on me and the baby.  Scott was shocked every night as I told him which block student came and visited me each day.

This group of students will be forever treasured in my heart and were used to remind me why I went into teaching students.  Not only to teach them math, BUT to also change their lives forever.  I am excited to see what will happen with this group over the next three years as they blossom and grow.  As I write this down I did tear up thinking about week 1 with the block kids.  

Now to answer the question...yes I would teach a block class again!!!

Kick Count

One of the things that I look forward to every doctor's appointment is hearing our baby's heart beat.  My midwife was so sweet when she was using the Doppler...she said OH MY...You do not have any problem doing a kick count each day.  I told her know that I feel the baby move all the time.  She commented that our baby is so active and has a strong heart beat (which has been try all pregnancy).  She told me that sometimes women are so busy in life that they do not take time to know their baby's movement patterns.  I am grateful and blessed that my husband has helped teach me over the last 4 years of marriage that slowing down in life is good to enjoy the blessings that God has in store for me each day.  Glad that I am not too busy to be tuned in with the blessing that is growing inside of me.

Our kiddos pattern:

Kicks on my bladder about 10 minutes after I have wake up in the morning (regardless of what time that is).  In about 30 minutes after that our baby flips until I eat breakfast.  Then for the next hour or so there are consistent movements until 10.  At this time is nap time for our baby.  This nap normally is until about noon when our kiddo flips until I eat lunch, then comes tag back and forth on the sides of my stomach until 2.  The baby naps again until about 4ish.  The baby moves depending on my activity level (lots of stuff = lots of movement, relaxed = very little movements), until about 8.  Then a quick cat nap until 9:30...that is when our kiddo has a last minute burst of energy to get rid of before I go to bed.  The baby is so on time, I most of the time do not even look at a clock, but know that it is 9:30 because of the babies movements.  Then 10 hits and it is mommy's bedtime.  I continue to sleep peacefully through the night and RARELY wake up (less than 7 times all pregnancy have I gotten up in the middle of the night :).  Scott tells me that the baby moves during the night because when he wakes up in the middle of the night he always places his hand on my belly to feel our little one.

4th of July

4th of July came and I had a hard day! I felt overwhelmed and not wanting to deal with reality.  It hit me that this was my last 4th of July with just SCOTT! We would never again be by ourselves for a holiday.  There was 99% excitement in me, BUT the 1% of me was upset.  After a long talk with Scott I figured out the problem...THIS WAS NOT MY TIMING!!! 

God's timing was going on and I could not stop it at all. The fact that I did not get to plan my pregnancy I did not like, BUT the fact that we are starting our family.  We feel very blessed knowing that everything is going well in our pregnancy.  We believe that God truly answered the desire of our hearts without us having to ask for it.  With all of this in mind the 1% quickly dwindled out of my mind when I sat and thought about who was really in control.

Scott loved me through all of it and continually pointed me to God's sovereignty.  He helped calm the fear and anxiety that I had and pointed me to truth that I knew deep down inside.  Blessed by him daily!!!

Problem...might be TMI

Three days later (after my mom went to the doctor's with me), I thought that possibly something was wrong I leaked out some fluid and began freaking out.  The Internet is a blessing and a curse because there is so much information out there.  After stressing out for a while I decided to call Kaiser's advice nurse.  I talked to the nurse was told to change my clothes and wait an hour.  I called Scott and told him and he came home.  (I laid in bed, prayed, cried, and poured out my heart to God...while listening to praise and worship songs starring at a past sonogram)  After the second longest hour of our lives past there was nothing so we decided not to go in and wait until the morning.  BUT, when I woke up there was still more fluid.  I called back and she told me that I was probably fine, but since I was a first time mom that if I wanted to come in and put my mind at ease that it was fine with them.  Scott and I tried to put our minds at ease, BUT just could not...We decided that after going to birthday donuts for my dad that we would go in.  We told my parents what was going on and I was slightly relieved when my mom suggested going in too.  Better to be safe than sorry! We FINALLY got into Kaiser and went to Labor and Delivery.  The nurse who greeted us...took our info.  Then were put in a room, I put on a gown and then waited.  Eventually a nurse came in and told me what they would do to figure out what the fluid was that was coming out.  The put on a baby monitor and blood pressure cuff on me.  My blood pressure was high (no kidding the stress of worrying about our baby was intense).  Hearing the babies heartbeat was music to ours ears and brought peace to our hearts!  The nurses came in all excited to see us and say are we ready to have a baby today...we would tell them how far along I was and they nicely said "Oh no we don't want to meet your baby yet!"  We were monitored for an hour and then they ran test on us.  They concluded that the baby is pushing on my bladder and squeezing out pee.  That was the fluid I felt...(SUCH RELIEF FOR BOTH OF US!!!!!!)

Steady Progress and Growth :)

In late April I went to wearing maternity clothes and other "fat" clothes.  Life was moving along smoothly and I started feeling as though I was a "huge" pregnant woman.  My back began to hurt and I wore a back brace for the next three weeks.  Everything was still going smoothly in the pregnancy and the baby was growing.  I woke up one day with my shoulder in PAIN!  This pain was paralyzing...my right arm  Scott prayed every night that our baby would have 10 fingers, toes and would be healthy. 

The time would come in late May for our 5 month sonogram.  We were so excited, nervous, and anxious to go.  We went and Scott got to see our baby in full swing.  Our bundle of joy continues to be an active baby who posed for the camera.  Scott loved watching the baby somersault, flip, turn, yawn, turn, and everything else.  I was majorly bummed because the technician would not show me the screen and Scott ignored her instructions and stood right behind her to watch.  Scott's excitement in his eyes while he watched the screen was priceless.  He loved telling me all about what he saw and such.  The baby flipped to face us before the technician could get a shot of the spine so we would have to go back.  Doctor's called within three days to say that we had to reschedule an appointment and have more sonograms taken.  We were not sad at all because that meant more shots of our baby.


In June I went back to the doctor's (Scott sadly had to work, but my mom was ECSTATIC to get to go with me).  She told us that everything was fine with the baby and that the baby was healthy.  The baby's heartbeat was approximately 150 (which makes my mom thinks its a boy).

Rumor Has It...

At Easter my cousin told me that I was the topic of conversation with several students on campus.  They continuously were asking him if I was pregnant or not.  It was mainly my 6th period who saw me leave with excitement for a doctor's appointment that my husband was picking me up for.  I had not been sick at all really so they had a hunch.  After spring break I kept one of my students after class and asked her about the questioning of my cousin.  She was very embarrassed, but excited at the same time to know the truth.  She asked me and I told her yes.  That is pretty much where the Mrs. Rollins is pregnant stopped for the next two weeks (or so I thought).  I told my TA and he was so excited and shocked at the same time.  Three days later two students approached me at the end of 4th and asked why I was eating so much in class.  They then asked if the rumor was true...It was fun turning it back on them and I responded what rumor?!?!? One student finally asked if I was pregnant or not.  I told them yes and their classmates who were lingering after the bell all cheered.  The next day a student came in and told me that her sister told her and congrats.  Then the class all started whispering and they all cheered and said congrats.  That day the rest of my 6th period asked and then the argument of who "knew" first began between all of the classes.  My 6th period claims to know first because I told them about my doctor's appointment.  Last to know was my block class...they had the most questions and reactions of all my classes.  My students asked questions for about 40 minutes until their curiosity was satisfied.  Now all of my students knew and it was a matter of time before others knew.  The rumor wheel went around AHS from mid April until the end of the school year.  Former students would come in for "tutoring" just to chat and ask how life was and then ask if I was pregnant or not.  They then would say congrats and asked how I was feeling.  Most students were quiet irritated that we were not going to find out the sex of the baby.

I am actually going to be a MOMMY!!!

After that it feels as though nothing exciting occurred in the pregnancy over the next month.  I continued to grow and go to doctor's appointments with Scott by my side.  We both decided that we did not want to know the sex of the baby.  I was more regularly late to work, but knew my principal was okay with it because he knew how late I stayed afterwards and was not taking advantage of it.  The only major thing that happened over the that month was I finished my Master's Degree on February 26th, 2012.  I visited Carla and her twins over spring break and I drove home in shock...the next baby that I would probably interact with would be my own!!! OH MY!!! It was a different sense of reality that I had never really thought about.

First Sonogram

The pregnancy progressed well with no real morning sickness, just fatigue.  The fatigue caused me to be late to work one day so I told my boss.  Next person told was Scott's boss because Scott wanted to go with me to the first doctors appointment.  We waited over the next eight weeks to see the doctor.  We went to the doctor and waited what felt like forever to be seen.  Once we finally were in we waited longer too.  Then the time finally came in!!

Then the sound that changed the rest of our lives forever came.  We were able to hear our babies heart beat for the first time!! Tears of joy filled both of our eyes! We could not believe that we were ACTUALLY pregnant.  Then came surprise number 2.  We thought that I had gotten pregnant sometime in the middle of January like the 15th or something.  From what we read the baby would be approximately be an inch long.  We looked at the screen and the doctor was measuring our baby.  What we would soon find out was that the baby was not 2.54 cm long...it was actually 3.27 cm long!! What did that mean?!?!?!?!?!  It meant that I was not 8 weeks pregnant, but actually was 10 weeks!  The doctor gave us two pictures and commented about how active our bundle of joy was.  Baby was healthy and all...we were both beaming with joy.


My mom was excited and nervous at the same time when we called her to tell her about the doctor's appointment.  Since I was STARVING I was eating and so Scott called my mom for us while I ate.  My mom freaked out a bit over seeing Scott's phone because she thought something was wrong.  Much to her relief everything was okay with all three of us and now she could start telling everyone our news after we told the youth group.  She was able to tell anyone she wanted that I was expecting.  My mom got to tell her sisters and we told my dad's family at a family gathering.  I got to tell the youth group all together that I was pregnant and then it was posted on fb with our first sonogram picture.

Pregnancy beginnings

So now that I am two-thirds of the way through the pregnancy I now have the desire to write about my experience. 

Surprise was my first reaction! I officially went off birth control on January 9th, 2012.  After many long conversations with Scotty about timing and thinking about starting a family.  We got confirmation from the doctors that neither of us were on medications that would impact fetal development or deformities.  Which gave us the go ahead.  But, I was too late.  YEP!! By that time God had already orchestrated his plan in our lives and allowed me to get pregnant while on birth control (just like my mommy).  It is amazing that some will think that something can "work" for three years and then stop all of a sudden.  I know that this child was planned in God's perfect timing. 

Learning that I was pregnant was not hard at all.  My favorite drink coffee soon became something that made me ill.  I wanted to vomit at the smell, thought, and taste of coffee.  Again this was a total God thing.  My husband and I were afraid of how my coffee withdraws would impact our daily lives.  Prior to this I never really went without coffee unless for medical purposes.  Within the first few days of being pregnant my body started to REJECT coffee.  Keeping it a secret that I was possibly pregnant went out the door with the rejection of coffee.  The countdown began with close family and friends to confirm all of our hunches that I was pregnant.

FINALLY time came that I would take the test to determine whether or not I would pass...I did pass the test! There was no emotional cry, break down, or over joyous reaction from Scott or me.  We both just confirmed in our heads what we had known in our hearts for a few weeks.  We called both our parents, siblings and told them in different unique ways that I was pregnant (BUT AGAIN not too many shocked reactions because the coffee rejection).  Our moms wasted no time to buy a yellow ducky outfit that would look darling on their new grandbaby!  We then decided that we would only tell the close friends at work who knew about the coffee rejection and had their hunches too! Scott was a beaming dad who was so excited about our new blessing that he had to tell Sean and Debs, but were told to keep it on the low.